Funny Jokes to Tell to Be Cool
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Have you ever started to tell a joke merely to forget the punchline halfway through? While the forgetfulness could exist funny on its own, no ane wants to suffer through the embarrassment of messing upwards a good joke, especially if it's one of the funniest jokes of all time. Sometimes you need to go a quick express joy on demand and what better way to do it than with one of these short jokes? You tin can pull these out of your back pocket when you're in demand of something funny on the wing along with the funniest one-liners, some "what do you call?" jokes, and fifty-fifty something to become the small folks giggling with these brusque jokes for kids.
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What'southward the best matter about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a large plus.
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I invented a new word!
Plagiarism!
iv / 102
Did you hear about the mathematician who'due south agape of negative numbers?
He'll stop at zero to avert them.
5 / 102
Why practise nosotros tell actors to "break a leg?"
Considering every play has a cast. Here are some dark jokes to bank check out if you have a morbid sense of humor.
six / 102
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
"Go out of here!" shouts the bartender. "We don't serve your blazon."
RELATED:Bar Jokes
seven / 102
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the route. I asked him, "What's the word on the street?"
Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving petty messages around the house. Don't miss these hilarious egg puns that will absolutely crack you upwardly.
8 / 102
Knock! Knock!
Who'due south there?
Control Freak.
Con…
OK, now you say, "Control Freak who?"
9 / 102
Hear well-nigh the new eatery called Karma?
There'south no menu: Yous get what you deserve.
10 / 102
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Tin't!"
"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are but contractions."
RELATED:Dad Jokes
eleven / 102
A bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a whiskey and … cola."
"Why the big pause?" asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. "I'm not certain; I was born with them."
12 / 102
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
He was only going through a stage.
13 / 102
Did you hear most the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little infinite.
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Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they brand up everything.
RELATED: Biological science Jokes
16 / 102
Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory.
17 / 102
How do you drown a hipster?
Throw him in the mainstream.
RELATED: Mom Jokes
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What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
RELATED: Limericks for Kids
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What does a nosy pepper do?
Gets jalapeño business organisation!
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How does Moses brand tea?
He brews.
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Why can't y'all explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
They always take things literally.
22 / 102
How do you proceed a bagel from getting away?
Put lox on it.
23 / 102
A homo tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I'm fond to Twitter!"
The doctor replies, "Lamentable, I don't follow you …"
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What kind of exercise practice lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
25 / 102
Why don't Calculus majors throw firm parties?
Considering you should never potable and derive.
26 / 102
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line.
RELATED: Work-from-Home Jokes
27 / 102
What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack?
The best of thymes, the worst of thymes.
28 / 102
What's the dissimilar betwixt a true cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause. Don't forget to bookmark these other "what'south the difference between" jokes that volition cleft you up.
29 / 102
Why should the number 288 never exist mentioned?
Information technology's 2 gross.
RELATED:St. Patrick'due south Day Jokes
30 / 102
What did the Tin can Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?
"Curses! Foil again!"
31 / 102
What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?
Thanks— I'll never part with it!
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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.
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What did the left center say to the right eye?
Between y'all and me, something smells.
34 / 102
What do you call a simulated noodle?
An impasta.
35 / 102
How practise you make a tissue dance?
Put a picayune boogie in it.
RELATED:Dentist Jokes
36 / 102
What did the 0 say to the 8?
Nice chugalug!
37 / 102
What do you call a pony with a cough?
A petty horse.
38 / 102
What did one chapeau say to the other?
You wait here. I'll go on a head. If y'all loved this, you'll get a kick out of these domestic dog puns.
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What exercise you call a magic dog?
A labracadabrador.
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What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
This tastes a little funny.
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What's orange and sounds like a carrot?
A parrot.
42 / 102
Why tin can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the "P" is silent.
43 / 102
What practise yous phone call a woman with one leg?
Eileen.
44 / 102
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
Aye matey.
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45 / 102
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His motorcar got toad away.
46 / 102
What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?
Bison.
47 / 102
What is an astronaut'southward favorite role on a estimator?
The space bar.
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Why did the yogurt get to the fine art exhibition?
Considering it was cultured.
49 / 102
What practice you call an apology written in dots and dashes?
Re-Morse code.
50 / 102
Why did the hipster burn down his mouth?
He drank the java before it was cool.
51 / 102
One time my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles.
He kept leaving little messages around the firm.
52 / 102
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked at me surprised.
RELATED:Funny Relatable Tweets
53 / 102
Did you hear about the two people who stole a agenda?
They each got six months.
54 / 102
What'south Forest Gump'southward password?
1Forest1.
56 / 102
Where does Batman go to the bath?
The batroom.
57 / 102
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
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What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
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Why is information technology abrasive to swallow next to basketball players?
They distill all the time.
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What breed of canis familiaris tin jump higher than buildings?
Any dog, because buildings tin't jump.
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How many times tin can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time yous would exist subtracting 10 from xc.
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Why did the M&1000 go to school?
Information technology wanted to be a Smartie.
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Why practice bees have gluey hair?
Considering they use honeycombs.
64 / 102
How does a rabbi make his coffee?
Hebrews information technology.
65 / 102
I got my daughter a fridge for her altogether.
I tin can't expect to run into her face light up when she opens it.
66 / 102
I poured root beer in a square drinking glass.
Now I but have beer.
67 / 102
Why aren't koalas bodily bears?
They don't meet the koalafications.
68 / 102
Rest in peace to humid h2o.
You will be mist.
69 / 102
What exercise you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
70 / 102
Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?
In example she needed to describe claret.
RELATED:Funny Parenting Tweets
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How do you throw a infinite political party?
Y'all planet.
RELATED:Space Puns
72 / 102
The numbers 19 and 20 got into a fight.
21.
73 / 102
Why did it go so hot in the baseball stadium after the game?
All of the fans left.
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What practice yous call a train carrying bubblegum?
A chew-chew train.
75 / 102
Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counselor?
It needed help figuring out its problems.
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Why can't male ants sink?
They're buoy-ant.
77 / 102
Desire to hear a construction joke?
Oh never mind, I'm still working on that 1.
78 / 102
Talk is inexpensive?
Accept yous e'er talked to a lawyer?
RELATED:Found Puns
79 / 102
Why did the gym close down?
It just didn't piece of work out!
80 / 102
Two artists had an art contest.
It concluded in a draw!
81 / 102
I tried to sue the drome for misplacing my baggage.
I lost my case.
82 / 102
I take a fearfulness of speed bumps.
Only I am slowly getting over it.
83 / 102
Where do you lot find a moo-cow with no legs?
Right where you left it.
84 / 102
What did i traffic low-cal say to the other?
Stop looking! I'one thousand changing!
85 / 102
What blazon of sandals practice frogs wear?
Open-toad!
86 / 102
Why was 6 afraid of seven?
Considering seven ate nine.
RELATED:Beloved Riddles
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What do yous call a boomerang that doesn't come dorsum?
A stick!
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What starts with East, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in information technology?
Envelope.
89 / 102
Why doesn't the sun become to college?
Because information technology has a million degrees!
90 / 102
How practice y'all count cows?
With a cowculator.
91 / 102
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their pare.
92 / 102
Why is England the wettest country?
Because so many kings and queens have been reigning in that location.
93 / 102
Did you hear well-nigh the kidnapping at schoolhouse?
It's okay. He woke up.
94 / 102
What are shark'south two most favorite words?
Man overboard!
95 / 102
Can Feb march?
No, but Apr may.
96 / 102
Where does the sheep get his hair cutting?
The baa baa shop!
97 / 102
Why are ghosts such bad liars?
Because they are easy to see through.
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Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
Considering Humpty Dumpty had a keen autumn.
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Where practice fish sleep?
In the riverbed.
RELATED: Fish Puns
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How do trees go online?
They merely log on!
101 / 102
What do you telephone call a conduct with no teeth?
A viscid behave.
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Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was ever spotted. At present that you've learned 101 new short jokes to share with your friends, check out these classic Laffy Taffy jokes that will sweeten everyone's twenty-four hour period.
Originally Published: May 25, 2021
Source: https://www.rd.com/list/short-jokes/
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